“If you have a hard time receiving and if you have a hard time asking for help, life will be life without any gifts.” What?
“When you come to think of it, we want so [many] more things, but at the same time, we have a hard time receiving them.” Whaaat?
“How big is your money container? Does it have a hole or a crack?” Like, seriously, man, whaaaaaat?
Confession: I had no clue what Ken Honda was rambling on about in this part of his Money EQ program on Mindvalley.
It took me heading to ChatGPT and asking it, “What is a money container as per Ken Honda?” to really get it.
And I’ll admit, once I got it, I had a newfound respect for Ken’s whole philosophy of “happy money.”
Wait, what even is a money container?
Who else read “container” and immediately thought of a Tupperware? Nobody? Just me?
Jokes aside, it really kind of sums up how I first understood money—something you store, not something you flow with. (I get into all that in this series, which you can read, starting with Part 1.)
You see, Ken describes a money container as the capacity we have to receive, hold, and manage money. Not so much in the sense of a bank account. Rather, it’s our energetic, emotional, and practical ability to handle abundance.
Interestingly, researchers have found that how we feel about money can predict how well we manage it. And how much we can hold onto.
For instance, people who have a small money container might blow through unexpected money or feel unworthy of wealth. However, people with a strong money container attract and maintain prosperity with ease because they have a healthy relationship with money and with themselves.
So the money container is our inner permission to be rich. It can be expanded through gratitude, healing money wounds, and cultivating what Ken calls “happy money.”
Because that’s the thing, right? People who believe they can handle money well and can control their spending tend to feel better about their finances.
I, however, wasn’t one of those people.
I didn’t realize money containers could have cracks
Just like a Tupperware, money containers can crack. But unlike a Tupperware, these cracks are emotionally linked.
They show up as the guilt, fear, or shame that stops us from accepting money, support, or simple kindness when it’s offered.
Wait a tick… What does support or kindness have anything to do with it? That’s a question that came up for me.
According to Ken, how we receive one thing is how we receive everything. If we struggle to accept kindness, we’ll probably struggle to accept money, too.
And the same goes for giving. The flow stops when one side of the exchange gets blocked.
They’re two halves of the same energetic cycle, Ken highlights. If you only give, you eventually burn out because your well runs dry. If you only receive, the flow stagnates and stops because nothing moves out.
Turns out, my container was leaking fear and guilt
I hadn’t ever thought about it in that sense. Looking into my own money blocks, there was a sense of “fear” that money would run out.
Like, if a beggar came up to me, I had a hard time parting with RM1 (that’s about 25 cents). Or even contemplating getting the HPV vaccination (which would’ve prevented me from getting cervical cancer like I did), I was like, “Naaah, I don’t want to spend RM1,200 on that.”
Then, there was the guilt of wanting more. Even when I started my job at Mindvalley, I asked for the same salary as my previous employment. My reasoning was that I had never had a job as a writer, so no experience = no right to ask what I’m worth.
Even in the Malay culture, when someone gives you something or offers to buy you lunch, the automatic response is “No lah. Tak payah lah.” (Translation: No, don’t bother.) It’s just ingrained in me to turn down someone’s offer of kindness.
The thing is, research has found that people who lack confidence in managing their finances are also less likely to ask for help when they need it. Even when that help could ease their stress.
And that’s what it was for me. It wasn’t that I was unappreciative of what was coming in. But it was more of the lack of confidence… that my container could actually hold more, that I could ask for more, or that I even deserved more.
Maybe expanding my money container isn’t about money at all
So “expanding my container” doesn’t mean figuring out how to make more money. I now have to remind myself that it’s how I receive, hold, and manage abundance.
Noted, Tatiana.
What are the ways he suggests that I can share with you? There are three main ideas behind them:
1. Know why you want to expand
Ken explains that containers grow naturally when there’s meaning behind them. He explains, “In order to make this money container comfortable and make it bigger if you wish, you have to know the reasons to have a bigger container.”
Why do you want more? Is it to feel secure? Or to make life better for others?
When the reason is grounded in love or purpose, the money container will expand on its own.
2. “Maro” up
That is, to practice gratitude. It acts like reinforcement for the container, keeping it strong and steady. And every time you appreciate what’s already there, you remind your nervous system it’s safe to hold more.
For example, when you notice the money that came in, you arigato your money. When the bills get paid, arigato your money. Even when you buy yourself coffee, arigato your money.
This’ll help shift your energy to one that opens doors to abundance.
3. Heal money wounds
Ken admits that he still works on his own. “Sometimes I feel guilty about money, sometimes I feel overjoyed, and sometimes I feel a funny hesitance to accept money. So every day I’m working on my money wounds,” he says.
What I’m learning again and again is healing happens in small moments of awareness. When guilt creeps in, you breathe. When fear shows up, you stay present instead of tightening your grip.
Each time you do, the wound closes a little more.
And you?
It’ll definitely take some time to see how or if my money container expands, and I’ll let you know what happens along the way.
But in the meantime, how about you? Do you struggle with receiving, giving, or both?
Send me a message. I’d love to hear it. xo